


Perhaps Mistake

by Sailingfreely



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: ? - Freeform, Cute, Domestic, Established Relationship, Fluff, Light Angst, M/M, Marriage, Self-Indulgent
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-16
Updated: 2020-04-16
Packaged: 2021-03-02 02:40:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,144
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23687824
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sailingfreely/pseuds/Sailingfreely
Summary: “You think I made a mistake?” Taeyong asked while his foot bouncing in nervousness, slightly shaking the table where he’s having a lunch break with Mark.“What mistake? The last dancing step?” Mark asked back between his munching.“No, about Jaehyun…”“What about him?”“Me, marrying him?”
Relationships: Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun/Lee Taeyong
Comments: 18
Kudos: 256





	Perhaps Mistake

**Author's Note:**

> Self indulgent? Yes, absolutely.

“You think I made a mistake?” Taeyong asked while his foot bouncing in nervousness, slightly shaking the table where he’s having a lunch break with Mark.

“What mistake? The last dancing step?” Mark asked back between his munching.

“No, about Jaehyun…”

“What about him?”

“Me, marrying him?”

Mark stop munching, squaring at Taeyong, “pretty late don’t you think? You married him for four years already.”

“No, I mean…” he run his hand through his hair, “I don’t know, I’m feeling uneasy lately.”

“Why? Because he barely makes any time for you now? He’s probably busy with his work.”

“Well, yeah…”

“Something wrong?”

“You know, our relationship is kind of... unique right? He never says he loves me and we kinda just got married because we’re comfortable around each other and… We’re used to each other and it’s just felt natural to be together,” he blabbed, foot still bouncing.

“You love him though and it was him who asked you to get married right? So?”

“But don’t you think he did that because he just felt like it and did it on a whim? I mean, he never tells his feelings to me.”

Mark rolls his eyes, “how is it marriage is something on a whim? Beside, he shows it in the way he takes care of you.”

Taeyong bit his lower lip, thinking again, but the ill thoughts already nagging his mind for quite long now, he couldn’t hold it in. “Like, I know he loves me, but not really that ‘love’? He marries me because of… I don’t know, we’re comfortable and familiar?”

“What brought this on? You never have a problem before even though he never says the three words, you know it in the way he acts around you.”

“Well, that’s the problem. I never question it because I always thought he loves me back because I can feel it, he always dotes on me and maybe the way he’s protective over me makes me believe that even without words. But lately… Lately it seems like he don’t care anymore, like he’s so busy and rarely comes home when I’m still awake and even if we met, he would have just kissed me then go out again… Like he’s being cold to me,” Taeyong perfectly aware he’s ranting right now, but he can’t help it, his insecurity has been going on for too long.

“And this has been going on for how long?”

“About three months…?”

Mark’s eyes went slightly wide, “that’s long. But probably you’re over thinking it.”

“You think so?”

“Yeah, anyone with eyes can see how whipped he is to you,” he start eating again, thinking that the topic is done.

“Maybe before, but now… You think he found someone else? Someone… He really loves?” it left a bitter taste on Taeyong’s tongue when he said it, heart aching at the thought.

Mark puts down his spoon, contemplating what to say, but he doesn’t know what to say. So he just repeated, “you’re over thinking it, hyung.”

–

Taeyong woken up to the sound of keys dangling, then a low thud coming from the other side of the bed. He turns to see Jaehyun in the middle of changing clothes, noting that the clock shows two in the morning.

“You just got home?”

Jaehyun jumped in surprise, whipping around to face him, “you’re still awake? It’s late.”

“I was sleeping…” he sit up on the bed, staring and waiting for Jaehyun to say something more. “You’ve been very busy lately.”

“Ah, yeah… Got a lot to do,” Jaehyun smiled and kissed Taeyong lips for a brief moment, “go back to sleep, you have to wake up early tomorrow.”

“Can’t you cuddle with me? Just for a minute or something? I miss you,” Taeyong is almost begging when he saw Jaehyun about to walk out from the bedroom.

There’s a small frown and a tight lipped smile on Jaehyun’s face when he answered, “I wish I can Taeyong, but I need to get things done, I’m sorry.”

“Don’t you miss me?” he whispered and Jaehyun could hear it in the quietness of the room.

“Baby, of course I miss you, but I really need to do this…”

Taeyong lowers his head, pained and disappointed, then he lay back on the bed after saying a soft ‘ _okay_ ’.

Even after Jaehyun kissed his cheek and hugged him for a while, saying sorry before finally leaving the room, Taeyong still feeling hurt and lonely. And bad thoughts lull him to a restless sleep.

–

“You okay there, dude?” Johnny said to Yuta, throwing a concerned glance to his two friends, noticing Doyoung also rubbing a gentle hand on Taeyong’s forearm.

“I’m most certainly not okay,” Yuta sighed, stirring his ice coffee obsessively. “My girlfriend broke up with me.”

“What? Why? I thought you guys doing okay? I saw you being gross together just last week,” Johnny straightens up on his seat, shocked.

“Well, suddenly she realized I’m not the one she’s in love with,” he shrugged as if he didn’t care, but the gloom in his eyes obviously saying otherwise.

Johnny was at lost on what to say, but before he manage to Taeyong already commented, “same.”

The three men turned their head to Taeyong, for a split second expecting a smile or a following joke to cheer Yuta up, but it never came and his face stays gravely blank.

“What do you mean?” for a moment Yuta forget about his own problem seeing the hurt on his beloved friend's face.

Johnny noticed the way Doyoung shaking his head as if asking them not to ask about it, but the words already said and Taeyong had decided he needed to let it out.

“Last night I saw Jaehyun hiding a shirt with a lipstick stain on it,” Taeyong said with a flat tone, but it’s so painful to hear because they knew Taeyong never sounds like that. “So he’s really seeing someone else.”

“No, you don’t know that. Maybe something happened and he just don’t want to worry you,” Doyoung quickly try to soothe, but it barely does anything to Taeyong.

“After all this time he’s been cold to me? I think that’s the only reason,” he chuckled, sounds empty and pained.

“Have you talked to him?” Johnny also tries.

“I don’t dare to… What if he say that after all the time we’ve been together he realized he never really love me? And now he found someone else, he realizes it was never been a love? That he stays with me because we just happened to feel comfortable? I wouldn’t be able to handle it.”

“You know it’s not like that, you know he loves you,” Yuta said slowly as if he’s talking to a child, placing a supporting hand on Taeyong’s back.

“Does he, really? I’m not sure anymore. He never says anything, we dated because we kissed when we were drunk and just fell into a habit to be intimate. Then he asked to marry me when we were cuddling on the couch watching a soccer match… Wasn’t he just doing it on a whim?” Taeyong sniffed, eyes glassy but he’s still strong enough to hold it in.

“Do you think he’s the type to not think things through?” Johnny asked although they already knows the answer, but he need to remind Taeyong.

He didn’t answer, but the haunting thought still remains persistently, “then he woke up suddenly realizing he’s no longer in love with me. That’s why he’s distancing himself from me and just waiting for the time to say it.”

All of them fell silent, unsure what to say since it seems Taeyong already deaf to reason.

“You need to talk with him,” Doyoung said after a long moment of heavy silence.

–

Taeyong is afraid, too scared to have _the talk_ so he did what he thought was the best, avoiding Jaehyun. And with the younger barely at home when he’s awake, it’s an easy thing to do. Even when they live in the same house, it feels like they’re a stranger with a too different lives and world. Even with occasional kisses and hugs, it’s hard for Taeyong to think otherwise, and they haven’t made love for a long time, nothing can placate Taeyong anymore.

 _“You talk to him tonight, he’s going to be home early,”_ Taeil said sternly over the phone, accompanying Taeyong who’s sitting alone in the living room. It was a home for two, but it hadn’t felt like it for the last few months.

“How do you know that?” he sighed, tired of everything, tired of assuming and he just want to stop thinking.

 _“I just know, now I have to go. You both need to talk,_ tonight _. Don’t run away Taeyong,”_ he finalized before hanging up.

Taeyong sighed deeply, feeling his chest tight and limbs agitated in stress. But he relented, it’s better to deal with it sooner rather than hurting himself every day with bad thoughts and anxiety. He’s counting numbers to settle his thoughts, to relax his body to prepare for the upcoming doom.

About two hours later Taeyong hears the sound of the front door opening. Before all of this happened, usually he would greet Jaehyun with glee, jumping to hug him and just soaking in their warmth to release the longing of being apart for the day. But this time he remained seated on the couch, eyes straight to the dark, blank TV. Waiting, waiting and praying in his heart.

“Taeyong?” Jaehyun walked into the living room, glancing at the TV then back to Taeyong, “you’re not turning it on?”

“No, we need to talk,” he swallowed thickly, his throat feels like it’s closing from the sheer amount of stress and acid going up from his stomach for being so terrified, the urge to run away being so strong. But Taeil's words echoes in his mind, ' _don’t run away_ ’. You can do this Taeyong.

Jaehyun visibly tensing at the look on Taeyong’s face, slowly inching to the couch and sit beside him, “okay. What is it? Something’s wrong?”

 _A lot of things are wrong_ , Taeyong wanted to say but didn’t. “Do you have something you want to say to me?”

The younger man sucked in a deep breath, recognition in his eyes, “did Taeil tell you?”

Taeil? Suddenly Taeyong feels his brain freeze, did Taeil know something? And he didn’t tell him? Anger starts to settle in his gut.

“I’ve been thinking of telling you this week, but… I was not ready yet,” Jaehyun sighed, but then a small smile forming on his lips.

How dare he smile like that, Taeyong clenching his fist on his pants, heart aching too much at the sight but he refuses to let it show. “Should we fill in the divorce paper now?”

Jaehyun’s smile fell immediately, his eyes growing so wide with shock and his mouth gaping without sound until he managed to squeak out, “what?”

“I know you’re seeing someone else now… It’s okay, I understand.”

“Understand?” hurt flashing through Jaehyun’s face, but the utter shock caused him unable to form words properly, “how, what- why- _How_ could you think like _that_?”

Taeyong shrugged, guards still up, “I saw you hiding a shirt with lipstick on it and the way you behave lately…”

“Shirt?” his eyes fleeting to the right, thinking, “ _that shirt?_ I wasn’t hiding it! I wanted to get the stain off since it’s my favorite shirt! It was a drunk stranger who bumped into me when I was on my way home! I swear!”

"It's okay, you don't need to hide it anymore."

"No! What the fuck Taeyong? You really think I would cheat on you?" His voice rising a bit.

“Then how about you being cold to me! You don’t even want to cuddle with me, you just… You don’t care,” Taeyong could feel the sting in his eyes, oh no don’t, not now, he has to be strong.

“It’s not that I don’t want to! I was tired, I barely sleep, but I need to do my work. If I cuddle with you I’m sure I’m going to fall asleep, then my work won’t be done. Taeyong, I swear to god, I didn’t mean it to seems like that…” he pleads because he’s also scared seeing the look on Taeyong’s face.

“You were being so distant to me… You kept to yourself and being so secretive around me, why is that if there wasn't someone else?” he sniffed, still holding his ground.

“That is- I…”

Taeyong scoffed, “now you have nothing to say?”

“I… _Argh!_ ” he ruffled his hair frustatedly, “wait here, I’ll tell you.” he went to his study and came back after a while with a lot of files and papers in his hands. “This is why.”

Taeyong inspect it tentatively, looking at every words and photos about a house, a nice house which fit perfectly for a small family with kids or pets. Taeyong chokes from the surging shock and cry, but he swallows it all down, “you were searching for a house to move in with them?”

“ _Them?_ Taeyong, how little do you trust me?! It’s for _us_!” Jaehyun almost yelled in frustration but also hurt. “Remember back then when we haven’t married yet? You used to tell me you wanted a house where you could raise a dog and a cat? Then you said you also want a daughter? I’ve been preparing it and saving money for it, it took me a lot of work to do so and I still have to sort out all the papers and search for the perfect house. That’s what I’ve been doing, I wanted to surprise you. Do you remember in a few days it's your birthday?”

Taeyong couldn’t hold the sob that slipped off his mouth, “are you for real?”

“ _Yes!_ And here I am being accused of infidelity, I’m _very_ hurt you know. You don’t trust me at all,” Jaehyun huffed and turning his head away with crossed arms not wanting to look at Taeyong.

But then punches landed on his arm, “ouch! Ow! What the- _Why are you hitting me?!_ ”

“You jerk, you bastard, you shit head, you- _you_ -! I hate you! You make me worried for nothing!” Taeyong shouts while keep hitting Jaehyun. “How can I not? You never say you love me and suddenly you were just- you felt so far away and I got so, _so scared_. You fucker!”

“Really? I- ouch, never say it? I thought- ow! _Ow_! Hey, stop that- stop hitting me!” he caught Taeyong’s wrist and hug him tightly to keep him in his place. “Are you trying to break my arm?” he sighed before looking solemnly in Taeyong’s glassy eyes, thumbing at the tears. “I’m sorry that I made you insecure… I really am and no excuse for that. But you know me, I’m not good with words and I thought you understood…”

“I did, I trusted you before all this, before I start thinking that maybe I was wrong and you don’t love me,” he squeaked, causing Jaehyun to laugh a little.

“I’m hurt that you doubt me, but I guess it’s also my fault that I got too hung up on making you happy I forgot the important thing. I’m sorry, I love you Taeyong, I asked for your hand in marriage, you remember?”

"I thought- maybe you mistaken what you felt for me and asked me to marry you and now you're regretting it..." he sobbed, hitting Jaehyun's shoulder once.

"Think about it, with us, I don't think marriage is necessary because I know what is it that we have. But do you know why I decided to marry you?" Jaehyun speaks so softly, like caresses to Taeyong's anxious flesh.

"I don't know... I don't know why you want to be with me, you never really share with me what you feel about me... we just suddenly fell into that."

"You're always so sure about almost everything, but you really need to stop trying to run away when it's about a relationship, Taeyong. You're a wonderful person, you have to believe that," he sighed with adoring smile, stroking the high cheekbones with his thumbs so tenderly to show what he weren't so good at saying. "I married you because I want you to stop running away, I want you to feel secure and assured. I don't want you to worry about anything, I don't want you to get anxious about anything related to _us_ , because I love you."

Taeyong's body starting to shake a little, hiccups of a cry forcing they way out, but he denies it by embracing the other man in his arms tightly, "you never say anything..."

"I'm... too shy to say it to people who matters to me, to the person who's important to me. I thought it's enough just by showing it through my actions," Jaehyun kissed the top of his head, stroking the smaller back and swinging them both gently like a lull, like coaxing. "I love you, it's true."

“I don’t believe you,” he pouted, but a ghost of a smile is there, Jaehyun kissed it away, deeply and sincerely, pouring all his love into the kiss before he pulls away and smiled.

“Then what should I do?”

Taeyong bites his lower lips to force himself not to smile, he shouldn’t let Jaehyun off the hook yet, “buy me that house and tell me everyday that you love me.”

Jaehyun chuckled before kissing him again and whispered to his lips, “of course, that I can do. But I won't do it just because you told me to, but because I really do love you and I want you to never forget that, so there will be no room for you to feel doubt about us.”

The color of red immediately blooming all over Taeyong's face even to his ears and neck. With one last weak punch, he looks away to hide his embarrassment, "you don't get to play the flirtatious cheap character now..."

"Hmm? Why? That's what you want though, you asked for it," he chuckled, pulling Taeyong by the wrist when the older man trying to get away and refusing to look at him still with red face like a tomato.

"Not like that you-! Let go, _go away!_ " He shrieked when Jaehyun hooked his arms around his waist and hauls him up, bringing them to the bedroom.

"But you said you missed me! I'll show you my love plenty from now on," Jaehyun sing song, holding Taeyong's head and turn his head to kiss his lips, keeping one arm strong on his waist to secure the man.

Taeyong makes a face of embarrassment and being bratty, but he _melts_ , lips jutting up to mumble, "bully."

"You love this bully," Jaehyun laughs.

**Author's Note:**

> We need fluff in this life lol
> 
> Hit me up on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/RiriSailing?s=09)


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